Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
