If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
