I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
organizing the empties. That sober.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
