I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
