The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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