someone get that fucking seahorse.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
