is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
