I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
worst night to have a conscience
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
