I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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