i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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