so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
its liver damage thursday
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
