Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
