Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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