too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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