His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
