He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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