WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
