Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So squirting runs in the family.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
