New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
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