on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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