now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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