Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
