Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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