Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
