____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
