you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
