i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
