Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
