I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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