More tranny stories later!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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