A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
