my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i came on her dog
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
