so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
