I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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