I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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