Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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