His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
