But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
