sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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