I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
it's great music for shaving your balls
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
