YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
