Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
