Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
sarcasm needs its own font
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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