I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
