Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
