I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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