i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
