Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
