guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
