Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The air was thick with penises
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
