I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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