is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
