I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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