Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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