john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
