its not stalking. its research.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
