The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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